How Have a Great Morning (Paradoy)

Hi ladies! Today, I’m going to share my pearls of wisdom with y’all some tips to have the best morning ever!

1. Keep your room clean

This trick I learned from my mother.  When people come over, you have to make it look like no one lives there. It can’t look like you sleep there, so it may be easier if you just don’t sleep in the first place – all you need is coffee!

2. COFFEE

Like much of America, I think coffee is the key to survival. Because what says “good morning sunshine!” like a high-key addiction that consumes around 68 million Americans daily.

db2fc482f0f3fbdcc519adf1b4c323ff

3. Perfume

Perfume has been around for ages. During the Medieval Ages, women would use perfume to hide the fact that their yearly shower isn’t for another 7 months. In today’s times, you can use perfume to hide the fact that you are slowly dying inside. Personally, I think rose is great to cover up even the most decomposing matter.

4. Go running

Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t.

untitled

5. Eat an Apple

Either you are healthy and become drop dead gorgeous, or you may end up like snow white and  drop dead. Oooh! What’s better than an organic version of roulette to start off the day!

6. Take your vitamins

There is a multitude of vitamins for all of your different needs. Personally, my favorite is one called Pride™. It may be hard to swallow at first, but after a week or two, you will find you are actually enjoyable to be around!

e6a0589423b648fa3a9fcb8202a20474

 

So, I hoped you liked my advice.

 

See ya later

-Alliegator

 

P.S. I hope this wasn’t too cynical; I’m just really bored.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s